Prescience

By Susan Mardele

Decision timing is my greatest challenge.
It is an agony trying to get clear.

I have stumbled so many times,
impulsiveness my Achilles heel.

Am I a fool, jumping too soon,
or do I stand fast hoping for the grace of certainty?

Will my decision surge forward beneath me
or rasp roughly over the harmony of my life?

Sometimes I believe I have a destiny,
a design to my life…

A divine cadence daily being fulfilled.

Other times I believe I’m the last thing
on any divine being’s mind…

My total Godly behest a mere daub of prescience
rather than a sumptuous, crystalline revelation.

Is God a mere totem,
representative but with no power?

I want to know for certain that in any venture
I will thrive, not only today, but far into the future.

That I will prevail, ascend to the heights,
my success echoing in my life’s chambers.

I have scanned everything I know
to filter for answers.

I have plundered the ideas of others,
searching for peace.

And yet I do not find answers or peace there.

The only peace I find is in a power
who gives me the freedom…

To take a chance on my own imperfect choices
and carries me safely through the tempests of fortune.